True Blood: Burning Down The House

The opening of this week’s episode begins with the “Festival of Tolerance”. There are screams and people running, while the witches descend on Bill. Why is it so important for Antonia to kill Bill? I mean, such an elaborate plan to kidnap a vampire and then force him by magic, to kill another. Does Bill have a destiny that we aren’t aware of? Hmm... Yet, things are resolved when Sookie finally is able to stop Eric by using her powers, breaking the spell he was under. And I’m panda sad as I say buh-bye to Amnesia Eric. 

Back at Bill’s compound, Jessica and Jason are having that awkward regret-after-sex talk. It seems that our boy is not happy with his decisions, and is feeling guilty about having relations with Jessica. True dat, it will break Hoyt’s heart. *Sighs* But can you blame Jessica for loving the pornstache? Come on! No one can resist Jason’s pornstache this year. Paired with a wife beater tank top and a tall one in his right hand. He’s fucking prime Bon Temp beefcake! 

We then see Alcide driving a very ‘broken’ and ‘bruised’ Tommy. As I said before, I can’t be mad at him. He’s extremely stupid, but has a good heart somewhere in his hobbit little body. 

But, we then flash over to Moon Goddess Emporium and see that Tara and one of the other witches is concocting a plan to cast their own spell. Doesn’t it suck being in a cult? Can’t leave when you want to? Yet, Antonia intercedes and begins to have an argument with her inner Marnie. I know, it’s weird. 

Continuing on with Bill, it becomes clear as he argues with Nan that he’s not quite the dick that I had pegged him to be this season. And finally, a clear plan is devised. Kill the witch. But, as Nan and Bill discuss their next move, Eric has a sweet conversation with Sookie assuring her that he remembers everything and has not changed, only grown from this experience. But fucking Sookie has to mess everything up by admitting that she still loves Bill as well. She’s trying to make her dreams come true, I suppose. 

Returning to Merlotte’s, Sam pulls up in time to meet Alcide with Tommy in his arms. This is an endearing moment, as Sam confides in Tommy that he has always loved him. Shortly after, Tommy dies. I’m. A little. Shocked!! They killed Tommy! I mean, I could have seen that coming by Tommy’s actions, but still, it’s always sad to lose a character on True Blood. RIP Tommy. I will miss your hobbitness. 

Over at Jason’s house, Hoyt comes over to sing the blues. I suppose Hoyt has to try and make me feel bad for having those Team Jason/Jessica shirts printed. Well, screw him! But... Then Hoyt starts crying and I’m all like, fuck... Really? It is safe to say that this relationship is over, wouldn’t you say?

At the Bellefleaur home, Andy is finally confronted by Arelene and Terry with an empty vile in their hands. And the entire world is thanking them because Andy on V, is soooo annoying! Yes, somebody send that bear to rehab! Ala, crazy-ass Terry style! And just as I suspected, Terry get’s all militant on Andy’s ass and drags him out to an old fort that the two used to play in. It’s a place where the two hash out old memories, shoot some empty cans and eventually brings a submission of defeat from Andy. 

In the mean time, Sookie and Jason warn Lafayette and Jesus of Bill’s plans to blow up the Moon Goddess. It’s here that I start to suspect that Jesus will have more to offer, now that he has channeled something darker when he was in Mexico. How this will pan out in the last few episodes is actually exciting to me. But as we see, Antonia and Marnie are conflicted in their goals. Antonia is having second doubts while Marnie is ready to move forward. It’s clear that Marnie doesn’t just hate vampires, but most people too. The combination of the two, could prove to be lethal. They hate everybody!

But now, just out front is Jason, Sookie, Lafayette and Jesus. The calvary has arrived! Understanding that Marnie is not in her right mind and clearly not held captive by Antonia, Jesus decides that he should be the one to approach the Moon Goddess in an attempt to talk to Marnie. But the store is protected by a spell, forcing Jesus to have to walk through it with all his might. While he musters through, we get a quick glimpse of a Nacho Libre... And then he succeeds and bust out on the inside. Holla, Jesus is the man!

Over at Alcide’s house. Yes, Alcide’s house!! Not Debbie’s, Alcide’s! - Debbie is smoking pot, talking nonsense and sitting extremely close to Marcus. We all know what’s going to happen next. The whore will hook up with “a different wolf”. But simultaneously, Sam and Alcide storm Marcus’s motorcycle shop looking for Marcus, pissed that Tommy was beaten to death. It seems that Alcide has changed sides, and clearly, taking this stand against his pack leader will lead to very bad things. 

Inside the Moon Goddess, Antonia is impressed that Jesus is able to channel his inner Nacho Libre. But, she does not waiver. However, Marnie emerges temporarily and assures Jesus that everything is fine and exactly how she planned. She shows Jesus their captive vampires, while Tara and the other witch cast a spell to break the spell keeping them hostage. While Tara and Holly run out, Sookie and Lafayette run toward them and Antonia zaps them gone. Where the fuck did she get that power from, huh? Bitch please, why didn’t you just make the vampires disappear if you could make people disappear all along? 

But, I should add that while all this is going down, Terry and Andy are still at their childhood fort, clearing the air of all their turmoils and troubles. Andy vows to stay clean and Terry forces him to walk home as the first step to recovery. 

We end with a kick ass rendition of Talking Head’s Burning Down The House and a shot of our foursome: Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica, aka The A-Team (A as in AWESOME) dressed in black, headed to battle the witches. Obviously, shit will go down next week. Are we ready? Only two more episodes!

And here’s your sneak peek of next week’s episode:

Peter Facinelli's Loosies

From our own Peter Facinelli, comes a film called "Loosies", written and starring our beloved papa vampire. Honestly, I didn't know Peter wrote; how completely bohemian of him, he's so multi-talented. 

The summary reads: A young pickpocket in the New York subways, living a fast, free, lifestyle is confronted by a woman whom he had a one night affair with, she informs him that she is now pregnant with his child, he must now choose between continuing the lifestyle he lead or take responsibility for his actions.

There doesn't seem to be a release date for the film as yet, but we give Peter much props for producing, writing and starring in his own project. With that much backing, we can only assume that he is very passionate about this story.

Recently on facebook, a few stills were released  from the film but one in particular caught my eye.

Dayum! When is this moving coming out? 

I definitely say put this on your movie radar!

Happy Birthday Alexander Skarsgard!!

Happy Birthday Alex!! That's right, today is our sexy "True Blood" vampire's real life birthday, who's turning 35. And why do I love Alex so much?



Video source: Vidliciousbabe

True Blood: Let’s Get Out Of Here Recap

This week’s episode begins with Alcide rushing Sookie home, only to be met by Bill who tries to feed her his blood. She’s been shot... And I can’t help but think, “Nooooo! Not Beel’s blood!!” I suppose, if I had to choose between life and Bill’s blood, I’d choose Bill’s blood. 

*Sing’s theme song*

At the Moon Goddess shop, Tara and a few others question Antonia and her intentions. Frankly, this is a little to late, dontcha think? I mean, let’s just analyze this. Marnie is fucking possessed by a very old spirit that hates Vampires. Bitch. Ain’t. Going. Anywhere. Antonia screams, “My name is Antonia,” and holds her coven of witches hostage. *sighs* Are witches that easy to kidnap? 

Back at Sookie’s home, she begins to wake, healed and worried over Eric. This of course, hurts Alcide’s feelings and our cute, little wolf trotts off pissed. We can see, Bill looks slightly hurt too as the only thing Sookie can think about, is finding Eric. If you had sex with that Viking God-like creature, you’d be out there looking for him too. 

At Luna’s home, Sam and his girlfriend decide that a camping trip is exactly what one should do, after being threatened by an ex. This feels odd and out of place, but Sam is desperate to get his girl and her daughter out of the house, helping them escape their feeling of being trapped by Marcus. We’ll excuse Sam for his randomness.

Over at Debbie’s, there’s nothing like sulking in bed watching “Cheaters”. When Alcide finally comes home, she pretends to be asleep, even when naked boy climbs into bed. Yeah. I know, completely unrealistic. But, as she continues to feel jealously, her eyes light up all cat like, even though she’s a big bad wolf. This let’s us know, it’s fucking on. Debbie is a dick. Heed my warning. 

At Bill’s, Jessica cries and cries over her boy troubles to the point that she has annoyed Nan. When Bill arrives, he informs her of the mess they are actually in and the three, much to my chagrin, bind themselves in the basement with silver. Then the banter begins between Nan and Bill... Blah, blah, blah. Something about a “festival of tolerance”. 

When Hoyt wakes up to that annoying, ass ring tone we see that 1) somebody likes them some Taylor Swift and 2) Hoyt lives in the home of our ghost, who now resides in Lafayette’s body, and has decided to come home. But Hoyt calls Jason, and a frantic Arlene, Terry and Andy rush out to retrieve the infant. On a side note, this whole thing with Andy using V is wearing thin on me. 

BUT flash to a sexy fucking Sookie dream: It’s a Bill and Eric sandwich and I absolutely think this entire scene is hilarious, awesome and hot! Well, played Alan Ball, well played. As Sookie said, “This is my dream. So both of y’all need to shut up and listen to me.” 

At Merlotte’s, our evil little hobbit, Tommy is up to no good and takes it upon his hobbit self to piss off the werewolf ex that is barking up Sam’s leg, looking for him. I assume this means, game on. Tommy is also a dick.

Back at Hoyts, Andy and Jason attempt to get the baby but to no avail. What is a ghost to do? Strapped with a gun, possessed Lafayette begins to fire upon our two cops, forcing them to run back out empty handed. But Terry and Arlene show up and Terry is about to go all “Vietnam” on Lafayette’s ass but is wrestled back to the ground by Andy. This is the beginning of something between the two men, but in the scene, it’s just Andy’s fat ass forcing Terry to lay down flat. Obviously, mean words are exchanged here that will carry on to next week. 

Next we check in on Sam’s cozy little camping trip... And Luna's little girl is mesmerized by wild rabbits. Ok, we’ll let that one be. She’s cute, young and looks like Dora the Explorer. Let’s not make fun of her now, children are off limits here.

Back to Sookie, “I think I’m in love with both of you.” Oh dear god, she wants both of them to be hers. HELL YES! I don’t care if Bill’s doesn’t share. I want Sookie to have both! Then she wakes up and realizes she had a fuckawesome dream. Is it just me, or is this season turning out to be my favorite?

But unfortunately we catch a flash of Debbie purchasing V, which means she’s using again. She needs to go to Celebrity Rehab and meet w/Dr. Drew. First off, she needs to go get help and not actually be in a relationship. Wait, are there rehabs in True Blood for supernatural beings addicted to V? *runs and googles that shit*

At Hoyt’s, we are now in a hostage situation, not to be confused with a Mexican stand-off, when Jesus arrives. He carries with him, those gorgeous blue eyes and a bag full of sympathy for our dearly departed. He is the voice of reason and tries to plea with the ghost to let him help her understand what has happened in her life. I love Jesus. This story line is chopped up between other scenes, so I’ll try to add my thoughts here. I think this story turned out, irrelevant, but interesting. Really just a testament to how powerful Lafayette and Jesus are as a duo. We finally get an understanding of what happened to our young, mother; murdered by her lover, Mavis simply wants to know what has happened to her baby. Come on! That’s panda sad!!

At Sookie’s, Debbie shows up and somehow is able to clear her conscience enough, to convince Sookie that she is there to help her with her troubles. The two are not BFF’s, but they are working on it. Honestly, would you be friends with Debbie? She’s all twitchy and shit. No thanks, she smells of deception if deception had a scent. 

But because Alcide is upset at Sookie, decides to offers his allegiance to Marcus to please Debbie. In return, the pack leader asks Alcide to stick around... Or kick the shit out of Sam whenever he shows up. “Boo” on the wolves and their overpriced, Motorcycle repair shop! I know they’re charging me more then they are their canine friends. Fuck them. I’ll take my business elsewhere. I’m sorry, I digressed. 

Again, we are back at Hoyt’s home and Jason and Hoyt have been digging for hours until they stumble upon bones. Let me tell you, I rarely get moved to tears... But in this moment, I actually did tear up. It’s truly a tragic story, and though I wasn’t impressed by the special effects used to create the illusion of Mavis’s spirit leaving Lafayette’s body; I still loved the entire story. To quote Lafayette, “You got it bitch.” And we have resolution on the burnt baby doll. Let’s hope we never see that hideous doll again. Dolls are evil! People, haven’t you learned by now? Toys that come to life, are like Toy Story. Dolls don’t come to life, they just eat your soul. Like Coraline, and other bewitching stories. They should be banned! 

Back to our wonder twins: Debbie shows up to the Moon Goddess’s shop and persuades Antonia to open the door. She pretends to offer up the support of the local wolf pack, while Sookie tries to save Eric. But, fucking Tara has to ruin it and strangely, also helps Sookie get out of a very bad situation by falsely shooting at her while telling her where Bill is at. Side note, Debbie rats out Sookie to Antonia. Oh, Debbie. We have our eyes on you. 

Unfortunately, the witches have not deviated in their plans and as we find out with Eric’s admissions, intend to use him to kill Bill. 

This time when we are at Hoyt’s, and the two are discussing Jessica. I love the box titled, “For you, Monster.” Honest to god, I can’t stop laughing at this. Hoyt tells Jason that he needs to bring her box of stuff to her, if he were a good friend. Tell him Jason, “I’ll show you good friend!" But poor Jason obliges. 

Up next are a few quick intermingled flashes; Sam and his girlfriend, Luna having relations in their tent, while Tommy/Sam is getting the crap kicked out of him at Marcus’s motorcycle shop. I honestly, do not know why Tommy felt compelled to take a beating, but I can only think that Tommy thinks he’s making amends. 

And for the love of God, Jason and Jessica are now giving in to their compulsions, having sex to Taylor Swift’s song Haunted. Can I please say it? Team Jason/Jessica!

At the Festival of Tolerance, we see the witches' plan come in to action and end with Sookie yelling to Bill to run while Eric races toward him. And the shit will have to hit the fan next week. 

Run, Bill, Run!!

3 Episodes Left!

And here’s you sneak peek of next week’s episode. 

True Blood: Spellbound

This week’s episode started where we last left off; Jessica. While the witches chant, Jessica is slowly being lured out to the brightest glare, I’ve ever seen... Until we hear that sweet, sweet voice. I knew our Jason Stackhouse would come through!! Low and behold, Jason tackles Jessica to the ground and though she almost bit him in a blind rage, awakes from her trance and kisses him instead. Because that’s what you do when your face has been burnt off. You make out. 

Yet, still strapped to his bed, Bill screams in a panic for Jessica worried that she has met her True Death. Eventually, Jessica is carried down to the cell by Jason and with Bill’s recommendation, re-tied with silver. Btw, I love the pep talk that Jason gives Jessica in this moment... Again, Jason rules. 

At the wolf base camp, our pack leader is giving a speech to his members about the spellbound vampires and his decision to keep out of their conflict. “Those witches are fucking idiots for getting mixed up in vampire shit. Because those dead fuckers are hard core...” I have to clap because this is elegantly said. I think the next time I’m forced to make a speech at work, this too, shall be how I start mine. “Because they are fucking idiots...” It’s catchy, isn’t it? 

Sam visits his girlfriend, begging for her forgiveness. All it takes is little Dora the Explorer, to venture out and ask Sam to stay and play with her. All is good... 

At Sookie’s house, she rips the silver chains off Eric’s neck and offers her blood to help him heal. Brave girl, considering fairy blood is like a margarita with patron to Eric. But, he controls himself and is now even more bonded to his lover. In return, he offers his blood and tells her, “We will be one”. Sookie drinks it and I just about died. Strangely, that was very erotic. 

We then flash over to Jessica, who is... having a fucking disturbing dream about killing Hoyt and having sex with Jason out front in his truck. 

Back at the vampire crime scene, Andy is eyeing the pile of vampire goo, thinking that he really would like to lick his sweet tongue all up in its business. That is, until Jason scolds him. Then Andy replies, “Jesus, tits and God America, Jason. What the fuck is happening to me?” Dude... Did Andy just say dude? But, we scan over to a news camera crew interviewing Maxine until Bill shows up. Yup, and he’s got one mean press release ready... Laced with glamour!

Again, we are back at Sookie’s and we now have our infamous shower scene. That was too PG-13! Where’s the x-rated version? Btw, I have to mention here that Eric has not one single hair on his body. Gorgeous. Oh, but guess what happens while Eric and Sookie are naked in the shower? It begins to snow and our two snow leopards are now transported to Narnia, where they make magical love on a bed out in the middle of the forest. Lovely.

Now, while Bill is giving his press release on the news, Tara is being schooled by Antonia. For the love of God, if she uses the high horns to point one more time... I’m going to break those two fingers off her hand. Not really, but I digress. But in this moment, Tara picks up the phone to hear Bill on the other line. She puts him on speaker phone and he begins to apologize for all the atrocities committed by vampires. He arranges a meeting at midnight in the cemetery. Right! Because everybody who wants to have a civil meeting, arranges it for midnight in a cemetery. That sounds safe to me. 

Suddenly, we get a quick flash of someone breaking into Maxine’s home. It’s the shapeshifting hobbit!! Now, all together... “Why can’t he just be good!!” 

Alcide and Debbie are still hanging out at the pack get together, hanging out by a trash bin on fire. Let me just say, Alcide is the hottest wolf at this party. Those are some ugly fuckers. 

Another flash... We’re back in Narnia and Bill and Sookie are still lying in bed with fur covering their snow covered bits... Isn’t it wonderful in Narnia? All they need is a tray of Turkish delights and they are set.

At Merlotte’s, we see that Arlene’s baby is still being allowed to have that dingy, burnt ugly baby doll in its play pen.  And you guessed it, then appears the strange female ghost singing in French. That is, until Lafayette stumbles back into the kitchen. I think it’s time that we start to get more back story on this ghost. Let’s hope we find out soon how she will tie into all this havoc already going on. 

Out front, our shapeshifting hobbit, Tommy has transformed into Maxine and is selling her gas rights. I knew this would happen. In actuality, Tommy being able to shape shift into any human is very dangerous. I’m wondering if Tommy will survive the season. 

At Hoyt’s, Jessica finally comes home and in a conversation gone very bad, breaks up with Hoyt. He begins to vent, and you can’t blame him. But Jessica is distraught because this not going down like her dream, where Hoyt begs for her to stay and then she smashes his head in. Don’t you hate when you don’t get your way?

Back to our snow leopards, who are now happy in bed back at the home; Sookie explains to Eric his obligation to assist Bill with the witches. And at the same time, Alcide is warned to stay out of the conflict... But how can he, when he knows something major is going to go down. Decisions, decisions!!

In the mean time, Lafayette becomes possessed by our female ghost and we are finally privy to her story; a sad tale of a black woman who had an affair with a married white man, who killed their child to keep their secret affair hidden from his real life. I think we can see why she has been attracted to Arlene’s baby. Yikes!

The next few scenes are very quick: Eric and Sookie go to Bill’s to offer their help and Sam meets the creepy, werewolf pack leader who happens to be the father of his girlfriend’s daughter. Yes, I cannot remember his name for the life of me. 

But wait... Jessica shows up at Jason’s house and he wants no part, taking back his invitation which shoots poor Jessica out the door. But Jason, I already made t-shirts that say, “Team Jason/Jessica”. What the fuck? Anyways... 

Possessed Lafayette, kidnaps Arlene and Terry’s baby, while also stealing Andy’s gun. I do not like this. I’m worried about the gun and worried that she may want to sacrifice the baby to bring back her deceased child's soul. Let’s hope I’m just over thinking this plot.

At the cemetery, things go awry between the vampires and witches and a fight breaks out with Bill getting bound, Sookie getting shot and Eric coming under possession of Antonia’s power. This is where I scream at the television, “Get your fucking hands off my Eric!!” And, yes. I did scream this. Ask my husband. 

And finally, Alcide picks up Sookie and transports her off. Wow! What an episode. Well, until next week, I will leave you with this preview clip. 

So: What about Arlene’s baby? What about my Eric? Where is Jesus? OMG, I have so many questions!! 

Bella and Edward’s Wedding Party: Lori style!!

If you recall, Bella and Edward’s wedding was August 13 at 5:00pm. A date that would no doubt, go unnoticed for the novice fan. Well, not my friend Lori, I tell you. Lori is a party in human form. Both her and her daughter share an undying devotion to the novels and celebrate their passion for the series by having events where friends and friends of friends, can eat, bond and laugh. I honestly, adore this group of women. And so we celebrated this past weekend.

In addition, this was the first time that I was able to bring my daughters... Something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Truth be told, both my daughters introduced me to Twilight, so it only be fitting that they start to attend and share my experiences. (You can read a short post I wrote back in 2009 on my discovery: A Tale of Two Thieves.)

When we first arrived at Lori’s house, we were greeted by the happy couple (though honestly, they look miserable in their cut-outs.)

You could take photos of them if you wanted to. Or maybe just Edward, your choosing. The event was family style potluck and I made my famous pasta salad (which is really spicy; I overheard a lady saying that when she ate it. Ooops. My bad.)

Some of the gals came with headpieces; here’s Lori, all smiles, front and center. Btw, Lori is the one that was interviewed in Vancouver on the local new station... The only one, besides her daughter that was from Hawaii. Of course it was Lori!! 

After everyone settled, we played trivia (which I absolutely suck at) and finally ate. 

These cupcakes were made by Lori’s daughter. They were too pretty to eat, but if  you insist... I have no problem eating Jacob’s face off.  

After trivia, we then toasted the couple; Champagne and apple cider for the kids. Below is a picture of my real life Bella, my daughter Noelani. She doesn’t mean to, but dresses just like Kristen: skinny jeans, converse and a faded tee. Actually, I think that’s the standard attire for all young girls. Wait, don't I dress like that? Hmmm....

Once it got dark, we then attempted played Bunco. For the love of God, I just did what I was told. Have you played? It’s a mad house!! But tons of fun and a great game to play when you have a large crowd. I won’t even begin to explain the rules, just trust me on that.

This Edward has taken photos with MANY 

people. 

Last, Lori then cut into this beautiful red velvet cake that her daughter spent all day baking. Btw, this was Melissa’s first time making a wedding cake. Not bad, huh? 

When everything was all said and done, and everyone was happily fed, Lori then played Twilight on her outdoor movie screen. She is ever the gracious host. I wish I had more photos but I was too busy talking and eating. But honestly, I just wanted to share a little of my weekend with all of you. As I left, Lori talked to me about having a Twilight scavenger hunt next month and then a Bachelorette party in October; possibly a limo party. If I haven’t said this enough; Lori is not human. She’s an alien from the planet of awesome festivities... I love her!!

Happy Monday and check back here tomorrow for last night's True Blood recap; the good, the bad and the ugly--You love it!

New True Blood Preview Clips From "Spellbound"

Marcus addresses his pack: 



Bill issues a statement:




Antonia reveals her plan to Tara: 

The next episode airs this Sunday, 8/14 on HBO!!

New Breaking Dawn Photos! Me LOVES!!

Thanks to Robsessed for these beautiful images--stills and interview courtesy of EW.

I absolutely love the photo above. First, I must say that Kristen has an amazing body. Those bottoms are pretty hot on her little toosh. And Rob looks absolutely handsome, as my gorgeous smiling Edward Cullen. It's nice to see him smile, rather than look constipated. 

This photo looks like it could just be a picture of Rob and Kristen. Again, she has a great body. I'm seriously excited for Breaking Dawn!! 

So does anyone know what this Saturday is? It's Bella and Edward's wedding date!! 

I'll be heading over to my friend, Lori's house to celebrate. They have a cute little event planned. Pictures to come!! 

My Thoughts on True Blood: Epi 7

{You know the drill, I recap as I watch. It’s randomlicious!}

This week's episode opens with possessed Marnie, aka Antonia luring a human security officer into her cell and using her vampire puppet to glamour the poor woman into divulging the code. All we need to know is Antonia is back, baby. She's back. Btw, who employs humans as security guards in a Vampire complex? Just saying...

Roll opening credits! *Dances to the theme song* 

Up next, we see Pam is pissed and about to kill Tara until the town peeps catch her out in the back parking lot of Merlotte's, snapping away like "Papa... Paparazzi....” This obviously foils her plans and Pam gives Tara a “death” rain check. Pam is not someone you want to have on your bad side.  

Flash to an angry Lafayette and Jesus who confronts his grandfather after he finally comes out of his bedroom. Dude, grandpa was only fucking his wife. Enough said. But wait, the point to the madness is that Lafayette needed to understand that he has the power. He is a medium. 

Still in the woods are Debbie and Alcide, in the process of being initiated into their new wolf pack. After Alcide wanders off and mopes, Debbie tries to cheer him up by agreeing to go into the woods and look for Sookie. But what do they stumble upon? Sookie having sex with Eric. Those two wolves have to be the lamest two wolves ever. Did they not smell pootang in the forest? 

At Bill's compound, he is warned and then shot by Antonia's vampire puppet. Before Bill is able to kill him, he whispers... “Resurrection”. If you were sending vampires to their death, shouldn’t your threat be something like, “You fuckers will pay!”  That seems more poetic, if you ask me. 

Back to Tara. In a heartbreaking moment, and yes, I say heartbreaking because the poor woman can't catch a break; she is forced to push her girlfriend away. It's really the only way to protect her because as Tara notes, everybody she's every been with has been killed. Tara really is a bad girlfriend to have. She just wreaks “murder and maenads”. Stinky Tara. 

At Jason’s pad, he is doing some freaking crazy, P90X hand stand push ups. All I have to say, is that damn boy is freaking HOT!! But, somebody's at the door. Oh, look! It's Hoyt. So who's with me on this? Are we Team Jason/Jessica? or Team Hoyt/Jessica? Think about it...

Speaking of Jessica, Bill is explaining to her the return of Antonia and the danger she poses as her only goal is to spellbound all vampires and lure them out to the daylight. Basically finish what Antonia started in 1610. I'm telling you, this chica has held a mean vendetta for a long time. But Bill has a plan; to have every vampire bind themselves to their sleeping quarters with silver. It is their only hope.

Flash to some hot ass naked sex!! Can we get some more Eric grunts? And Eric and Sookie doing it doggie style was so freaking hot, even my husband looked up from his book. But, not to be distracted from their hot ass sex; Eric has the most beautiful conversations with Sookie in this compromised position. I love how concerned he is with the thought that when his memory returns, will she still want him? Hey! If she doesn't want him, I'll take him!! Amnesia Eric, or Pillaging-Viking vampire Eric. Both work for me. 

Over to Pam, whose getting worked on by that one creepy doctor that worked on Sookie when she was scratched by a manead. She screams "You fucking cunt! I'm going to shove my fist up your ass and use you as a hand warmer!”, as the doctor rips off the top layer of her rotting flesh. Poor thing. 6 shots a day, and we'll see what that does for her. This isn’t botox, people. 

Tommy, the evil hobbit, is in the hospital with Sam. Hold that thought....

Bill visits Sookie and I can't help but laugh at Eric's honest response to Bill's question about their happy reunion. Eric's cute as a pug with farts. But that's not what Bill is there for, and he begins once again to explain the situation with Antonia and what must be done.

Next, we see Tara walking the dark and desolute road from Merlotte's and guess who she meets along the way. Antonia! Better than the Mickey Mouse club, Tara is recruited to join Antonia's coven. For the love of God, Marnie has a thick accent that makes me think she spits when she talks. I keep saying this, but it's true. Say it, don't spray it!

Back at Bill's compound, Jessica and Beeel are getting tied down with silver. It's a dramatic moment because that shit looks like it hurts. Pam is also getting strapped  down but not without her shots. We can see she's not just rotted flesh, but now has a layer of pink/blue skin, if you will, covering her face. At Sookie's, Eric gets his silver on and Sookie lays down next to her Viking to ride out the storm. 

Back to our boys: Jesus is having breakfast with Lafayette and explaining Tio Luca to him in depth. What I love about this moment is the amount of eye make-up Lafayette has on. Those beautiful eye lashes... 

My god, we’re back to fucking Tara again and she is in the process of rounding up a crew for the new coven and gets forehead waitress to join along with others. At this point, they only have enough for a boy band. We'll just have to wait and see. The tension grows!! We then flash back to Jessica and Bill and they're talking about being "sorry and shit"... Add to the panda sadness building... Now Eric and Sookie are talking.... Oh, it's all so scary. 

All right. Now, we're with Sam and he finally realizes something is wrong because his shapeshifting hook-up explains to him that they had sex last night... Hello! Get the hobbit!! 

For some reason we flash over to forehead waitress girl that is on some fucking weird date with Andy. But, he freaks out and I assume he is having V withdrawals and then splits, leaving her to wonder what the fuck just happened. Yeah, me too. Waste of my time!! But in this same scene, Lafayette encounters the female spirit that is haunting Arlene's baby. She begins to sing to the baby in French until he chases her away. Creepy!! 

Now, we are privy to Debbie and Alcide having sex and this is just not quite the same as Eric and Sookie. Debbie sort of grosses me out. But, it's their conversation that we must be intuned too. Her jealousy of Sookie is building and she suspects that Alcide cares more for Sookie, then he is leading her to believe. Alcide assures his little wolf, "forever" and we all just gagged. 

At the necromancer's head shop, it's a party!! If you're not down for doing shots and killing vampires with Antonia, then you can just leave!! And so the curse begins.

Sam wakes Tommy, threatening him to leave. I understand that Tommy didn't mean to shapeshift into Sam, but once he did... the kid ran with it, even having sex with Sam's girlfriend. How fucking dumb do you have to be? What's up with this character? Can Tommy just leave now? I mean, I feel bad but the kid is just not smart. 

Back to our coven, who are in the process of chanting up some good times. Shit goes down and the curse begins with a strong wind blowing, signifying the compelling spell that brings the vampires to the light. And in this moment, Jessica frees herself and slowly drags her body to the front door. But Jason is on his way! Yikes, there is a gun shot in the distance and Jessica opens the door to the light. FUCK!! Her last words, “The sun!!”

And to pay homage to Antonia’s curse... I leave you with some music.

My Thoughts on True Blood: Epi 6

I apologize for getting this post up late. Last night as I was watching my episode on Demand, my stomach decided to wage war on me. My stomach is a punk ass bitch. Just saying... Anyway, if you are new to my blog - I recap each episode as I watch. It's very impractical and extremely random, but my blog, my rules. Now shall we? On to some True Blood antics!!

Side note: This episode I might add was not as choppy as most episodes usually are. Each story was shown in length - a good thing so that I could formulate a coherent thought before the show flashed to another character. Anyways, just saying that I enjoyed this week's True Blood. 

Episode 6: I Wish I Was The Moon

This week continues with last week's highlight, THE kiss. I have been waiting a long time for that kiss and I thought Alan Ball would never deliver. Yet, just when things become heated between Eric and Sookie, Bill barges in and arrests Eric. When Sookie confronts Bill back at his mansion, I have to admit I felt sorry for Bill. Though I'm not Team Bill, Stephen Moyer is handsome and there are definitely moments where we see that gorgeous face of his peek through - for me, it's in his eyes. But, in a comedic sort of way, we then follow Eric to his chamber and look who his cell mate is: Pam!! Poor thing is desperate to convince Eric to avenge and I have to admit her speech is pretty hysterical, "killing and fucking", but ultimately has no charm on Eric as he is firm that he was not a good person in his past, and will accept any punishment handed to him (panda sad). Then we see Bill skype his head honcho and the “True Death" is being recommended as punishment. Bill is back to being a dick.

Next, we see Arlene and Terry's apartment engulfed in flames and I honestly panicked for one moment for that evil baby. Then I see that the evil baby was sitting out in the yard, before the fire began. AHA! We finally are privy to what might be attached to the doll. Possibly another spirit that was a witch in her former life? But, as Sam tries to take in what has happened at his complex, Andie is cracking me up. I love how he called Sam a slumlord. Oh dear lord, Andie is asking out the forehead girl. "Sure, what the hell. Itza date!" But as Sam, calls Tommy to ask him to open Merlotte's so he can attend to his apartments, Tommy starts slapping himself so much so, that he shapeshifts shifts into Sam! I'm beginning to hate that hobbit.

Over in Mehicoooo, Jesus's grandfather has prepared tongue for our two boys on this family style road trip. Jesus explains that they need protention, and his grandfather obnoxiosly replies somthing about fucking pride and get me a sacrifice. PETA will not be happy with Alan Ball.

As Tara naps in her undies (which damn, girl does have an amazing body), is visited by her lesbian, UFC girlfriend. Tara comes clean about her past, and I can only imagine what someone would think. "I have a crazy mama that had a demon inside her, and then found Jesus. I was hypnotized by a Manead, ate heart, and my ex-boyfriend Eggs was shot by my childhood crush. Then I was kidnapped by a Vampire, raped repeatedly and had to escape by bashing his head in.... Oh and my best friend is a fairy. " Shit, is there more? What did I leave out?

So then we flash back to Merlotte's and little-hobbit-posing-as-Sam is having fun playing "big dog". He yells at Sookie and then fires her. (I have to admit, that part was a wee bit funny. Oh come on! How often is Sookie at work these days?!) Btw, I like how the hobbit walks as Sam, he sort of thrusts his penis forward, which then launches him a few steps. I digress. But, as he wanders over to Maxine's table, she unloads her real thoughts on Tommy. She's pretty cruel, but in all honesty... She's well, honest! Right now, Tommy is a shady character for me. I want to feel bad for him, but he just keeps getting himself into some deep doodoo.

At Jason's house, Sookie finds him cuffed to a bed. Sweet baby Jesus... You have no idea... But Jason confesses that he is turning into werepanther - "like a werewolf, but a big ass cat". Jason, I love you. That is all.

Oooh, we then flash over to Alcide's house and guess who's there. The pack leader, or Pooba (remember Fred Flinstone?) But of course, Debbie has decided to join the local pack then to follow her boyfriend's wishes. Frankly, Debbie is just straight crazy. Like a sick, crazy. Alcide needs to dump her ass.

Back at Bill's compound, we see the witch desperately trying to call out to the spirit to "use her". We then witness another a flashback and I honestly have to side with the witches on this one. Those ancient vampires were fucking cruel. But to carry that vendetta for hundreds, and hundreds of years. I don't understand. I guess if it happened to me, I'd be fucking pissed for a millennium!! Nobody feeds on me and then burns me at the stake!! And so she possesses Marnie's body and it's on like Donkey Kong!

Back to our boys. Jesus explains to Lafayette that he needs to find a sacrifice that will come to him. I thought they were shit out of luck, but a snake works. Jesus uses some mad ninja skills to grab a rattle snake... I am kind of loving Jesus these days. That boy will do anything to protect his boyfriend. Um, sexy!!

Then Sookie and Jason wait under the light of a soon-to-be, full moon having a conversation about being "a regular old, all american human". Jason is still awesome. I like how Jason understands that he's special because he's "extra good" at having sex and shooting. Yes, he is special, isn't he? But that little shit decides to wander off into the woods and you just know poor Sookie will go after him. Frankly, I would have been over it. Hell no, I ain't walking into those woods.

At Merlotte's, the happy lesbian couple decides to eat out and I had to laugh at all the hick patrons, turning their heads and staring... But suddenly their waitress, Jessica runs off like a bat out of hell... Or a cave that was disturbed by spelunkers. I guess we'll have to hold that thought.

Then fake Sam has sex with horse girl and then kicks her out. Hobbit is NOT winning brownie points with me.

Jessica finds Jason in the forest and convinces him that she will not let him turn alone. She stays by his side and it's apparent that she is no match for "Jason's charms". I see a little something, something happening between the two but it's admirable that Jessica tries to assure Jason that he will be alright and she's there if he needs him. Again, Jason is talking about the "special" and I'm getting concerned that Jason might have been riding the yellow bus back when he was little. (Btw, he doesn't turn. No big, ass cat for him.) In that same forest, Sookie is getting Shapeshifter 101 cliff notes from Alcide and Debbie who are on their way to a pack meeting. I swear on my grammar book, those woods are the freaking creepiest woods of I've ever seen. I'm sure if Sookie kept wandering, she would have encountered Sasquatch because she's thermin (Get it? Thermal heat! Whatever!!), and probably the Blair Witch. Moving on!!

Bill is about to deliver the "True Death" to Eric... I HATE YOU BILL COMPTON!! Eric's final words are actually beautiful. "The vampire I use to be is a stranger to me.... I was born the night she found me. I went to my true death knowing what love is." Or something like that. I'm starting to wonder if I even want the old Eric back.

Yikes, then we are back to "Hencho in Mexico" and Jesus gets bitten by a snake and Lafayette temporarily gets possessed by Tio Luca, speaking spanish and healing Jesus from the effects of the snake bite. Thanks fucking grandpa!! This road trip sucked ass!!! What the hell was that all about? Protection from who? Oooohhh! I wonder if Jesus will take on Marnie's spirit! I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Next, is what I call a triple scoop of awesomeness: Sam finds Tommy passed out in a pool of vomit. Oh snap! And Tara and her girlfriend are making out at Merlotte's and Pam shows up. Oh double snap! Then possessed Marnie gets the vampire, that is actually Father Louie (from the flashbacks) to get down on his knees using the high horns. She just called him a little fuck! Oh triple snap!

And we end with Eric alive and well because his final words did have impact on Bill and deep inside, I think it was all for Sookie's sake. Finding Sookie in the woods, they make love. Um, a lot of shit happens in these woods!! Wait, back up. Not only have Eric and Sookie kissed, but they have done the dirty, dirty... Literally, like in the dirt in those festered woods. But, again... ERIC AND SOOKIE HAD SEX!!! This needs to be on CNN. I mean, pronto!! Where was the press release for this information?

Outstanding episode!! Loved it. Now here's a preview from next week's epi.

Ep. 43 – Preview