True Blood: Spellbound

This week’s episode started where we last left off; Jessica. While the witches chant, Jessica is slowly being lured out to the brightest glare, I’ve ever seen... Until we hear that sweet, sweet voice. I knew our Jason Stackhouse would come through!! Low and behold, Jason tackles Jessica to the ground and though she almost bit him in a blind rage, awakes from her trance and kisses him instead. Because that’s what you do when your face has been burnt off. You make out. 

Yet, still strapped to his bed, Bill screams in a panic for Jessica worried that she has met her True Death. Eventually, Jessica is carried down to the cell by Jason and with Bill’s recommendation, re-tied with silver. Btw, I love the pep talk that Jason gives Jessica in this moment... Again, Jason rules. 

At the wolf base camp, our pack leader is giving a speech to his members about the spellbound vampires and his decision to keep out of their conflict. “Those witches are fucking idiots for getting mixed up in vampire shit. Because those dead fuckers are hard core...” I have to clap because this is elegantly said. I think the next time I’m forced to make a speech at work, this too, shall be how I start mine. “Because they are fucking idiots...” It’s catchy, isn’t it? 

Sam visits his girlfriend, begging for her forgiveness. All it takes is little Dora the Explorer, to venture out and ask Sam to stay and play with her. All is good... 

At Sookie’s house, she rips the silver chains off Eric’s neck and offers her blood to help him heal. Brave girl, considering fairy blood is like a margarita with patron to Eric. But, he controls himself and is now even more bonded to his lover. In return, he offers his blood and tells her, “We will be one”. Sookie drinks it and I just about died. Strangely, that was very erotic. 

We then flash over to Jessica, who is... having a fucking disturbing dream about killing Hoyt and having sex with Jason out front in his truck. 

Back at the vampire crime scene, Andy is eyeing the pile of vampire goo, thinking that he really would like to lick his sweet tongue all up in its business. That is, until Jason scolds him. Then Andy replies, “Jesus, tits and God America, Jason. What the fuck is happening to me?” Dude... Did Andy just say dude? But, we scan over to a news camera crew interviewing Maxine until Bill shows up. Yup, and he’s got one mean press release ready... Laced with glamour!

Again, we are back at Sookie’s and we now have our infamous shower scene. That was too PG-13! Where’s the x-rated version? Btw, I have to mention here that Eric has not one single hair on his body. Gorgeous. Oh, but guess what happens while Eric and Sookie are naked in the shower? It begins to snow and our two snow leopards are now transported to Narnia, where they make magical love on a bed out in the middle of the forest. Lovely.

Now, while Bill is giving his press release on the news, Tara is being schooled by Antonia. For the love of God, if she uses the high horns to point one more time... I’m going to break those two fingers off her hand. Not really, but I digress. But in this moment, Tara picks up the phone to hear Bill on the other line. She puts him on speaker phone and he begins to apologize for all the atrocities committed by vampires. He arranges a meeting at midnight in the cemetery. Right! Because everybody who wants to have a civil meeting, arranges it for midnight in a cemetery. That sounds safe to me. 

Suddenly, we get a quick flash of someone breaking into Maxine’s home. It’s the shapeshifting hobbit!! Now, all together... “Why can’t he just be good!!” 

Alcide and Debbie are still hanging out at the pack get together, hanging out by a trash bin on fire. Let me just say, Alcide is the hottest wolf at this party. Those are some ugly fuckers. 

Another flash... We’re back in Narnia and Bill and Sookie are still lying in bed with fur covering their snow covered bits... Isn’t it wonderful in Narnia? All they need is a tray of Turkish delights and they are set.

At Merlotte’s, we see that Arlene’s baby is still being allowed to have that dingy, burnt ugly baby doll in its play pen.  And you guessed it, then appears the strange female ghost singing in French. That is, until Lafayette stumbles back into the kitchen. I think it’s time that we start to get more back story on this ghost. Let’s hope we find out soon how she will tie into all this havoc already going on. 

Out front, our shapeshifting hobbit, Tommy has transformed into Maxine and is selling her gas rights. I knew this would happen. In actuality, Tommy being able to shape shift into any human is very dangerous. I’m wondering if Tommy will survive the season. 

At Hoyt’s, Jessica finally comes home and in a conversation gone very bad, breaks up with Hoyt. He begins to vent, and you can’t blame him. But Jessica is distraught because this not going down like her dream, where Hoyt begs for her to stay and then she smashes his head in. Don’t you hate when you don’t get your way?

Back to our snow leopards, who are now happy in bed back at the home; Sookie explains to Eric his obligation to assist Bill with the witches. And at the same time, Alcide is warned to stay out of the conflict... But how can he, when he knows something major is going to go down. Decisions, decisions!!

In the mean time, Lafayette becomes possessed by our female ghost and we are finally privy to her story; a sad tale of a black woman who had an affair with a married white man, who killed their child to keep their secret affair hidden from his real life. I think we can see why she has been attracted to Arlene’s baby. Yikes!

The next few scenes are very quick: Eric and Sookie go to Bill’s to offer their help and Sam meets the creepy, werewolf pack leader who happens to be the father of his girlfriend’s daughter. Yes, I cannot remember his name for the life of me. 

But wait... Jessica shows up at Jason’s house and he wants no part, taking back his invitation which shoots poor Jessica out the door. But Jason, I already made t-shirts that say, “Team Jason/Jessica”. What the fuck? Anyways... 

Possessed Lafayette, kidnaps Arlene and Terry’s baby, while also stealing Andy’s gun. I do not like this. I’m worried about the gun and worried that she may want to sacrifice the baby to bring back her deceased child's soul. Let’s hope I’m just over thinking this plot.

At the cemetery, things go awry between the vampires and witches and a fight breaks out with Bill getting bound, Sookie getting shot and Eric coming under possession of Antonia’s power. This is where I scream at the television, “Get your fucking hands off my Eric!!” And, yes. I did scream this. Ask my husband. 

And finally, Alcide picks up Sookie and transports her off. Wow! What an episode. Well, until next week, I will leave you with this preview clip. 

So: What about Arlene’s baby? What about my Eric? Where is Jesus? OMG, I have so many questions!!