Primarily, this blog is about being a fan and sharing that love that I have, for all things Twilight and True Blood with all of you. I also enjoy blogging about randomness... so don't say I haven't warned you.
Thank you fanfiction; you have made my sexual appetite grow and my lust for Edward intensify! You have also inspired many hot manips (ok, I admit. I look at them with interest.) and I fucking love you. May I ask for a hug? *walks over and fondly hugs fanfiction* You are. A superstar. Thank you.
So 2009 would not be complete, if I didn't thank the many authors and the wonderful photo editors for making my many different fantasies of Edward come true.
Do you have a favorite story? Or maybe a favorite Edward that you want to fuck hard in the backseat of your car read more about? Let's recap some of my favorites.
Tattward, simply because CWAIA brought to life a very attractive and manly Edward. One that talks often of his enlarged dick. I want Tattward to rub his peanus butter all over me.
Mafia are despicable. Oh, my. Well hello there Edward. Is that a gun over your shoulder or do you just want to ravage my blossoming flower, full of dew for you?
Now we enter the world of Dominant and Submissive *whispers* (I don't really want my clit, or my inner asshole whipped, but let's pretend I do) Do you want a demanding and very sexual Edward? Yes, please. No emo Edward here! He's all "get on your knees so I can stab your mouth with my dick" Edward. Me likey (on paper)
Edward is your boss? Yes, the thought of sexy corporate mongol Edward Cullen, even made my panties spontaneously rip off and burn into oblivion. I'll miss you Beautiful Bastard.
Here's Susie's new video. FUCKING YUM! Rob I always want you to cum..
Happy New Year Everybody! Here's to 2010 *holds a champagne glass up* Let's sing along to this video!
Oh my. Having just completed Book 4 Dead To The World and Book 5 Dead As A Doornail, I just had to share my thoughts. (BTW, if you have not read these books, watch True Blood so you have an idea of what Eric looks like, then go pick up the books-Heaven!)
I do believe at this moment, Dead to the World is my favorite out of the series, but I'm hopeful that Charlaine will not fail me in future books.
Interestingly in book 4, Bill seems to be out of the picture. I must say, after learning of his escapades in book 3, I am not a fan of his character anyway.
Then, we are met with Eric, who has amnesia due to a spell/hex that has been put on him. Thus the Witches are introduced. Every time, I think she couldn't add another supernatural character, she does.
Let's talk about my favorite scene. The shower. ARGH! Are you fucking kidding me? It's about time! I literally screamed when they finally had sex and girlfriend wasn't holding out. She appeared to be pretty sore in the morning (oh for the love of all things bedazzled).
I must say, given the opportunity. I might run with Amnesia Eric off to some far away Kingdom. He just won my heart. I lusted him in previous books, but fell in love with him in this book.
So even though you have a huge battle at the end of the book, Jason is now werepanther, and Debbie Pelt is finally killed (thank God. Bitch!) This was the only thing I could think about. Eric in the shower. Show mama some love! Smile for the camera.
Let me just say, if Eric were with me, naked in the shower, our scene would write out like this:
Eric: *gently turns me around while cupping my breast*
Me: *gets on tippee toes due to shortness* "Ouch! Hey now! That's my butt!"
Eric: *silently looks for correct opening*
Me: *puts hands on the shower walls, to support aching thighs*
"Eric, that's my fucking butt, I'm going to punch you"
Eric: *slips in*
Me: *feeling awkward because toes are giving out*
"Eric, are you almost done?"
See, there would be nothing romantic about a 6'4" Viking and a very short 5'2" HG. In fact, there would be silent moments, sighs, and possible pain in unusual angles. But you know, there's always the bed.
Ok, so then I rush through Book 5. WTF? Where is Eric? No, he doesn't have amnesia anymore but Sookie! Don't you miss his cock? I would be at Fangtasia every freaking day! That was what was irritating.
Book 5 seems to focus on a serial shapeshifter killer and I believe it's the dyke cook. Or whatever, I'm not sure if she's gay but it was not that entertaining to begin with. Um, again more Were politics, and well...Where's my vampires?
I see that Charlaine is trying to set me up to interested in Quinn, but big, tall bald dudes. Well they scare me. She described him like he was a Jinni, and I'm not attracted to Jinnis. Sorry.
So in short, let's look at Sookie's love interest so far.
Quinn. Sorry, not for me.
Bill. You still suck.
Sam. Um, you have potential.
Alcide, your an idiot and I'm glad Debbie died. (harsh, I know)
I do hope that you had a great Christmas and now that it is over, can finally relax. Have you not yet? Go ahead. Grab the Patron. Let’s do a shot together. *grabs shot glass and fills with Tequila* Excellent! Shall we say a toast?
Here’s to Christmas being over but we always love you baby Jesus!
*shakes head* Mmm, Patron. Well, I’ll go ahead and tell my tale, but first I must say Christmas had been good to my girls. Grandma went off and helped us get them netbooks. Yeah! Grandpa sucked and bought them Sims3. Boo! That shit needed to be loaded on my Mac and defeats the purpose of the netbooks!
We did manage to pry them away to see Sherlock Holmes. Very cool movie and well worth seeing. Then later entertained my sister (and guests) who managed to come late (um, you were only bringing two sides and don’t mind me starving to death while waiting for you) Christmas over, time for bed.
Let’s back track though, to see how we got there. Thursday, Christmas Eve! Ah! Unfortunately for me, I had to work. For what? I do not have a clue. I don’t sell anything nor sell a service. If I wanted to leave early, well then boss said I could work straight through, no lunch and then leave. Thanks a fucking lot and Merry Christmas!
So I read Emancipation Proclamation all day. Why does the shit have 60 something chapters? I have other fanfics to read! Geezus! Anyway, needless to say I cried every chapter and by the time I went home, my nose was stuffy, eyes swollen and my depression triggered my Migraine. Thanks EP! (Oh BTW, I had a nightmare and Carlisle was in it. I was completely scared of him in my dream, thanks EP again for tainting him!)
So then, sick and in need of my medicine, I return home. My sanctuary. Now it should be told, that the fat black lab is a chewer. She has already destroyed one present and twice the christmas lights. Look at what I saw.
She had ripped the back panel on the chaise portion of the sectional. Thanks Lily! You suck! No time to repair, I had to leave it the way it was and explain to my guests the next day that Lily is fuckface. So where is the Christmas Magic in that? My daughter found her phone hidden in there. I know. What the shinezzel? I don’t care, it had been months since we’d seen her phone. We’re just happy she found it.
Next, I notice beautiful snow flakes floating in my living room. Wait. Eyes adjust. No! It’s furballs from Rufus. Already irritated from crying all day, I run for the clippers and decided to shave him. Who would have known they would have died on me half way through. Ooops.
Lucky for me, hubby didn’t get mad that I wrecked his dog. Poor guy. He looks normal from the front, but the back is a HOT MESS! Boyfriend appears to be a Greek Mythical creature. Half dog/half rodent.
So of course, not only do guests have to be told of the horrid couch, but I need to explain that Rufus doesn’t have a disease. Where’s the Christmas Magic here? Um... Mmm... Um... I got a new book!
So I just wanted to wish you all a very, Merry Christmas. I'm so happy that I have this outlet (you have no idea), that I have you guys to have fun with, talk books with, and well, my boys; Eric and Edward.
(I'll give you a little Damon too) Merry Christmas all! *HUGS AND KISSES*
So, last weekend before the 25th. Let me just say, Merry Christmas, and all that jazz. Um, where did this month go? Where did this year go? I'm a little irritated because it seems real life is rushing me to my death. WTH, RL! Stop it! Slow down...
Anyways, I thought many of you might have work related stress, last minute gifts to buy and just basic overall holiday fuckery things to do and could use your dose of True Blood Twilight vitamins. Thus your healthy dose of a little lemons. Not the whole lemons, just a small spoonful. BTW, unbeta'd and only for fun.
The light eased on me, covering me like a warm blanket. I began to let the haunting sounds of my past drip from my mouth as I performed. As I did so, a beautiful brunette sitting in front, caught my interest. My eyes followed her ivory skin up through her short sequenced dress. From my view, I could see her thighs slide slightly, and smell her warm sex heating as my gaze intensified on her body. I raised my head to take her in. Her aroma strengthened as did her wetness.
When I finished my performance, I exited near the dark curtain. I looked out into the audience as I removed my mask. I began to drink in the beautiful stranger. I was a Vampire, and she, my lust. My fang already erected had sunk into my lower lip, causing my bulge to quiver and enlarge. I will take her tonight mercilessly, and before she will leave the theater. I will gorge tonight on her sweet, sodden lips and plunge my desires deep inside her.
The Swedish Model
{Photo Removed}
SNAP. It was over. The gorgeous, blond photographer had called out 'finale'. Quickly her assistants began to break down. I felt angst, completely still erect and completely aroused. It was in this moment, I hesitated. My breath became heavy, as I watched her head towards the nearest building. In my moment of lust, my emotions fueled my adrenaline. I ran, still clothed from the photo shoot, still in spandex.
I caught her inside near a desolate area of the first floor. She was attempting to make a phone call. Startled by my entrance, she twirled with a small yelp. Without cause, I simply walked up and kissed her. My mouth hungry, drowned her with my desire. I could feel my cock stiffen and leak droplets of sex on to my fucking spandex. I pressed into her, grinding near her stomach. She hadn't reciprocated with the kiss, but as she felt me stiffen, she lowered her hand and grabbed me whole. I moaned into her mouth. She then used both hands and lowered the pants, exposing my engorged, penis.
Ok, first. I have to repost Anne Rice's comment because it cracked me the fuck up. No, she can't be. She's Team Bill? Shit, I'll have to think about that one. I may have to take her book back to the book store.
"Guys, enough about Eric on True Blood. Georgie Pendragon, you are right: "Bill is the man!" I assure you that Lestat, Armand and Louis are fans of Bill Compton. Eric is a disgrace. He's cruel and one dimensional. Bad press for vampires who are such tragic and conflicted heroes. Forget about Eric." Anne Rice
Now, speaking of Eric. What the fuckity fuck!! Who decided that Eric gets a sex interest? In book three there's no Eric hoe. Tell me. Is she in later books? How did this bitch get my job.
Eric Northam’s new Czech dancer/lover at Fangtasia, Yvetta will be portrayed by actress-model Natasha Alam (The Bold and the Beautiful). According to previous casting calls Yvetta is described as a gorgeously hot Czech-speaking Eastern European stripper who will have a sexual relationship with Eric. Looks like Eric fans will be getting their wish fulfilled by seeing LOTS of Eric in these scenes. (I didn't ask for Eric to get a new hoe! I asked for him to be with me. Geez. Get your facts straight.)
Bitch are you a fairy in this photo!
Well it's official. We now have our Alcide. I guess we don't get Rudy Reyes but hey. We get Joe Manganiello. (*whispers* Um, Rudy was cuter)
I don't know. I'll have to see him naked first
before I can make a determination if he's a good
Alcide. What do you think?
There are other casting news, but I need time to digest Eric and his new stripper girlfriend. Isn't he supposed to be getting somewhat closer to Sookie in book 3? All I ask is this.
1) I want to see Eric cum on Sookie's back like in the book. So I want this!
Now this is an interesting topic and a heated one in my home. Recently I saw a post on facebook about this person being appalled by the popularity of such Vampire movies and shows and that she was sure that her God was not a part of this. (I can only presume that this person is referring to the Twilight phenomena and True Blood/Vampire Diaries)
As I don't mean to take offense by anyone's religious views, I unfortunately felt confused by that statement. I had never considered that what I was reading, was sinful. So as my husband and I have discussed this for the last few weeks, I wanted to shed some light on the topic for all of you. Only as food for thought. BTW, I am a practicing Catholic, so please understand, religion is strong in my home as well.
Why Vampires? Is it because they appear demonic in nature? Are we talking all supernatural beings, including witches, werewolves, etc..? The reason I ask, is this. Is not the unknown, symbolic for something? What that may be, is up to the author, correct? In other words, these creatures don't exist, yet they do in the mind of the reader and for what purpose? What message is the author conveying? Example: The whale in Moby Dick represents God, as written by Melville. I think it's simply symbolism.
So for you to say that reading about Vampires is wrong, well then. Have you not read the fairy tales by Hans Christian Anderson? Or The Brothers Grimm? Their original fairy tales are actually very dark in nature. Walt Disney, a fan of such, incorporated the Queen (somewhat of a witch by her actions) in his 1938 Snow White and who could forget, the Devil himself made an appearance in the 1942 movie Fantasia. But did you notice something? When the devil comes and summons his demons, this is represented as darkness, but then what happens? There is light. The light always follows the dark.
I wanted to share a very interesting article discussing the "Allure of the Dark" by Kathleen Valentine.
"I realized something I've always known but had never been consciously aware of, the Catholic Church makes a place for darkness and, in doing so, provides a place for redemption. Darkness is the entry point of redemption and I am beginning to think that is a large part of its allure.
Throughout the centuries the redemption that pierced so much of the literary and cinematic darkness was, of course, love. This dark and brutal creature, hideous in all his perversity, is saved by love - “'Twas beauty that killed the beast.” And whether it is a damaged man with the power to enter into the mind of serial killers, a handsome vampire who longs to be good, or an assassin like Toby O'Dare, we are tantalized by the darkness. Darkness is not the same as blackness. Blackness is full rejection of everything redeemable. But darkness longs for redemption. Darkness is lush and sensual and filled with transcendence. Darkness is infused with Eros and, though in recent decades Eros has come to be synonymous with sex, that is not its full meaning."
To read her full article, please visit Parlez Moi Blog. It's very well written and I enjoyed it immensely.
I also wanted to leave you with a quick interpretation of the love of Vampires from Anne Rice herself. So where I do leave you with all of this? To me, it is an individual journey. I can not dare tell you what is right and what is wrong but I know that I truly love reading and would never suffer myself from limiting which books I would be allowed to read. After, all. Judge not lest ye be judge. So please enjoy your books!
So, I felt like I needed a little something, something to distract me. I have had a migraine for the last four days. Yes, count them. Four days! At the very least, this migraine could become an extremity and make it self useful, but no. It likes to ruin my Christmas spirit and prevent me from being in the sun. My migraine is a dick, to say the least.
Anyhoo.... I leave you ManCandy from some of my favorite Vamps.
Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)
Well, who doesn’t like two men jumping in bed together?
Ian has the bluest eyes. Team Damon BABY!
Eric Northman (True Blood)
God, I wish I was that beer bottle.
Sweet, sweet, sweet, baby Jesus.
Sorry, had to include a razor back tee photo.
That look. Oh, fuck me. I mean, fuck he’s hot.
Rob Pattinson (which is by far sexier than Edward. Oh, shit. Yeah. I said it!)
I made a quickie for you all. When I’m feeling better, I’ll make Sex-Rob Pattinson Part II. Pinky promise! And it’ll be steamier for all you dirty whores. By the way, have I told you lately that I adore you! Yes, all of you! Have a great weekend!!
I just wanted to put my two cents in on the hatred that exists in the blogdom world. Let me say, I believe most of it comes from men but yes there are female fans out there that will 'cut a bitch' if you fuck with their predatory Vampire shit but that's not why I am speaking up. What I'm clarifying is this; I do not compare Twilight to True Blood. Nor should you. Twilight (the books) were wildly romantic to me and sucked me harder than a hooker giving a hundred dollar blow job. True Blood the show, gave me.. well, it gave me Eric. So fuck you! I love them both! Yes, this bitch loves True Blood and I love Twilight. Guess, what? You can too, really. No need to feel shame. I won't tell.
Now, if you have some stupid, gay ass Vampire blog (I'm not talking about the cools ones that I follow either, you know who you are) and you think by putting down True Blood and calling it dicksweat or by calling Twilight fans pathetic losers, that you've some how won more followers. Then your sadly mistaken, and in fact may have lost some. No why? Please me here me out!
For those blogs that say, Bram Stoker's Dracula is the premier of all Vampires or that maybe Vampires in general should be more sinister and demonic, cool. That's your opinion. Not mine. Now, to say that a Vampire who sparkles is horrid, I say why? Why is it ridiculous? You know.. *whispering* THEY DON'T FUCKING EXIST, so it doesn't fucking matter!! Who gives a fuck if the writer has their Vampire shooting lightning out his ass, every time his fangs come out. Seriously, lighten up. This is called story telling and thus it enhances the written Supernatural, right? By being a hater, you're only limiting your world of words and that would be unfortunate. There are some great authors out there and great fanfics. How enriching it is to read a new point of view, a new crossover, a new world. Instead of putting those authors down, let's praise them for taking risks and encourage the new ones to explore and write. Make me fall in love with your character, add sorrow, add pleasure. Remember, you do not have to be an expert at what you write, you just have to enjoy writing it. So make your Vampire purple, make your Werewolf a Vegan, make your Fairy a serial killer. It does not matter. Have fun!
So to all who have a tale; don't let those critics or bloggers get you down. I leave you with a quote from an Author of one of the most famous Vampire series and not doubt a literary genius.
"Advice to New Writers. There are no rules in this profession. Do what is good for you. Read books and watch films that stimulate your writing. In your writing, go where the pain is; go where the pleasure is; go where the excitement is. Believe in your own original approach, voice, characters, story. Ignore critics. HAVE NERVE. ...BE STUBBORN." Anne Rice
And to those True Blood and/or Twilight haters. Respect. Be careful with your choice of words and be clear with your thoughts. Remember, that Vampires don't really exist, thus no author can ever offend one. I don't hate you, I just want to shank you; with love I promise! Now, come on haters, I'm sorry that I called your blog stupid and gay. That was uncalled for. Let's share a Vampire Kiss.
Well, the casting news for True Blood have been pouring in and I couldn't be happier. So True Blood fans, Season 3 did not get canceled. (Yeah, and that rumor I assure you was not started by a Twilight fan! Pleazzzze!) Also for those who haven't seen True Blood. What are you waiting for? Season 1 is on DVD and Season 2 will be out on DVD sometime in May, now go.. go to Blockbuster or Netflix and rent them! Here. Watch this trailer and tell me you don't want to watch this show. Go ahead.. I'll wait. See? Wasn't that good?
Lets take a peak at the hotties being casted, shall we? I mean to make sure they fit the part. Start with Aussie Hottie Grant Bowler. Oh, yum. Grant has been confirmed to play Cooter, head of the biker gang (aka werewolves). Am I supposed to hate the bikers? Why is Cooter so good looking? Damn you Alan Ball, damn you! If werewolves look like this, well then fuck! I may have to switch sides. No? Really, I don't mind dog hair and I would promise to have him groomed by a professional once a month. No still?
Mmm. Grant in jeans on a Harley.
Oh sweet Jesus, a Unicorn just flew.
Don't let those beautiful eyes fool you, Cooter's a dick!
*wipes drool off from chin* Ok, up next. Greek Hottie, Theo Alexander. Theo will play Talbot, Russell Edington's (the King of Mississippi) boyfriend.
Nice! Gay? Damn it!!
Don't let Talbot fool you with his looks, he's still a Vampire.
Um..a hot, gay Vampire! Does this remind you of that movie American Psycho?
Rounding out our list, is Texan cutie patootie, Marshall Allman. Marshall willl be playing Sam's brother Tommy Mickens. Um, not in book 3, I have no idea but here's the casting call info:
In the casting call, Tommy is said to be "dirty but good looking youngster who works at a Tire Depot in Arkansas." He tends to hide his identity because his family has been owing money all over town and he is particularly unaware of who Sam is. This character will be recurring heavily in the season
Marshall looks so innocent.Why? What did you wrong?
That's the same look that my son gives. I don't trust you Tommy!
Last up, is word that Pam (Kristen Bauer) will be more than a barfly. Her character will become a 'regular' in Season 3 and sorry men, I don't have any hot pics of Kristen. You'll just have to use your imagination but I believe regardless, the character Pam plays for the same team. *wink, wink*
Our beloved Mrs. Vanquish kindly accepted our request to give us a blogover. Let me just say, the first time around (yup! this will be the second time) Mrs. V was sweet enough to tweak our site; and it looked great. However, now, we're speechless. She truly is talented, sweet and patient.
See me and HTML don't really get along. It's awkward at times we when cross paths but we usually don't take crap from each other and often go our separate ways. As long as HTML, keeps it distance from me, I'm cool. So thankfully, one of Mrs. Vanquish's services included, uploading the new blog format to your blogger account.
Um, seriously I love my header and want to make out with it but that would be weird and I'm married.
"Listen Header, your hot and all! But stop flirting!!" Ok, sorry. I had to yell at my header. Anways, if you are interested in a blogover. Head to : Twispired Blogdesign
Ah, December in Hawaii. Hot at night, so that I have to kick my legs out from under my blanket and cold in the morning, (I'm talking low 70's) where I might need to where my slippers as not to chill my toes.
So how does Santa start off my holiday festivities? With a broken water heater! Ah!!! No hot water sucks my inner asshole! Anyways, while I go deal with RL, I'd thought I pimp myself out by sharing what I've been up to.
Rob
You Can Be a Sweet Dream
Or a Beautiful Nightmare
Either way, I don't want to wake up from you
Next, I entered my first fanfic contest, Poppin'Cherries. Remember Monday's Post?? Geez, how quickly you forget. Anyways, I'd be most grateful if you took the time to read it. I truly would.Let me set you up first; The contest centers around the SVM character Eric Northman and well.. losing his virginity. I took the Anne Rice approach and in my homage to her Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, wrote The Olive Boy. I'd love any criticism, praise, whatever.. Just thoughts on it, I guess. It's a short piece as the contents are extremely lemony and I didn't feel the need to prolong such a story. Actually, if I were to continue it, it would become increasingly more violent as Eric became an older Viking. Thus the story would lead to his transformation as a Vampire.
Last. Seriously? Vanity Fucking Fair. Are you kidding me? More photos!! Oh, well if you insist.
Here go girls. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and Happy December (for you Atheist)
*Let me just say, that if Rob was naked under my tree with a bow on his penis, I'd pass out as my heart is a little jumpy. Then while passed out on the ground, I'd probably pee in my pajamas.*
This week, we have been all about the contests. Know why? Cause it's almost Christmas and who doesn't like presents!! I do! Especially if I win them for some reason and don't have to buy them myself. I don't know. I'm weird like that. Anyhoo, props to Cutie for pushing this. She kind of deserves an extra point for that! But instead; I give you a hug! *runs to Cutie and gives her a hug* There.
So here we go.
First, we want to thank Ramblings of a Wannabe Scribe for hosting the contest. Now be quick, cause contest ends Dec. 10! Second, we love discovering new blogs and Shannon is a writer (near and dear to me), so I plan on being a loyal follower, as I love to write too *um, does that get me any extra points?*
Here are the rules in general but please visit Shannon's site for more detailed info. *thanks Cutie for shortening this*
1. You must be a follower of the blog to enter.
2. You must have a US address to ship to.
3. You must fill out the entry form to enter.
4. You can earn bonus points by posting about the contest
(sorry side bars don't count) and/or by tweeting about the contest.
So you know we love a good challenge! *whispers* (I'm kind of a dirty whore like that!)
Anyways, don't mind me. Have you been looking to get those little fingers moving? You know? Get your fanfic skills on. Well, I wanted to let you all know about a contest going on and yes, I'm entering this one too! It's on like Donkey Kong! Come on Virgin fanfic writers! Let's do this one together..
Announcing a NEW First-Time Writers contest for Southern Vampire Mysteries!
Wanted: Virgin and Almost-Virgin writers from all walks of life!
Have you always wanted to write, but never felt like you had an opportunity? Have you gotten your feet wet once but are nervous about trying to post again? Well here is your chance to write a one-shot and finally say goodbye to your publishing virginity!
We want you to pop YOUR cherry with the most sexy Viking vampire in history! Yes, that’s right, spend the night with Eric Northman and then give him over to us!!
As you know, Eric Northman is very old… over 1000 years, so he is having trouble remembering how he lost his… um… cherry. Was it on a tiger rug in front of a fire, or maybe while covered with whipped cream on a kitchen counter? (yes, they had Formica and whipped cream back then!) For heaven’s sake! Let us know!
We want your most creative story about how Eric entered manhood! Or, if you prefer, you can write a story about how Eric helped someone else lose their virginity! We just want cherries popped and Eric Northman involved! The story can be canon, AH, or AU (All-Human or Alternate-Universe); and please feel free to pair up Eric with anyone… woman or man! (giggles)
Check out their prizes:
Prizes (winners must be willing to provide a mailing address to Meads, but don’t worry; she won’t give it out to anyone but Amazon.com!)
The top two places of the Open Voting round and the top two Judges’ Selection round choices will receive prizes.
Open Voting – 1st place: Your choice of the DVD set of True Blood Season 1 or 2, plus major Pimping of your fic!
